Valentine’s Day Letter

I have a confession to make – I’m a little embarrassed by it. I often talk to people about offering themselves the same kindness they would offer others in their lives. When we discover how they’ve been feeding themselves negative messages about who they are, we often realize how they would NEVER, and I mean NEVER, say those very same things to describe anyone else they care about. Yet, many of us make derogatory comments about ourselves.

I’m guilty of it.

My sons play hockey, and for one, it was Senior Night a couple of weeks ago. The seniors each take a picture with their parents before the game and a tradition is for the moms to wear the boys’ ‘away’ jerseys. My son’s team has 14 graduating seniors and the parents have been meeting at frigid ice rinks at ridiculous hours for many, many years. We’ve shared victories, losses, injuries, frustrations, cups of coffee and hot chocolate, lots of pasta parties and a couple of glasses of wine.

The hockey moms decided to have a picture taken of all of us. I hadn’t seen the picture until another mom showed me at one of the games last week.

And then I did it.

I saw the photo and I said with a sour face, “Ugh. I look like a linebacker.” I heard the words fly out of my mouth and immediately wanted to go back in time to reverse them. It was only a moment before I realized it didn’t matter what I looked like in the picture. What DID matter was that I was IN it, a part of an incredible group of women, evidence of the fact that we shared our sons’ passion for the sport (most of the time) and the last decade or so with one another.

I realized I’ve still got some work to do. Who cares how I look in pictures? Better to be present, participate and have fun!

Here’s the picture I’m talking about. I’m standing at the end on the left.

hockey moms

I’m so happy to have it to remind me of the time spent with these women watching our sons play their most favorite sport.

A simple, knee-jerk response has rekindled in me the desire to be more kind to myself, to check in on the automatic dialogue I have with me. I will honor myself going forward. No more self-deprecating remarks. They really don’t serve a purpose. I will offer myself a little more love.

So with Valentine’s Day just a few days away, how will you extend more kindness and love toward YOURself?

Will it be by checking YOUR internal dialogue? Or by eating healthier so you’ll feel better? Or by getting in an extra work out? Or by reaching out to a friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while because that would make YOU feel good to do it? Or will it be by doing something simply for the fun of it (here’s hoping there’s a little bit of THAT going on!)?

Sending a little love your way,


Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.


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