Reaching the Finish Line

Are you one of those people that start out on a mission full throttle and as you near the finish line your energy wanes, and that end result you’ve been working so hard for perpetually feels just beyond your reach?

Then what happens? Do you give up? Do you allow yourself to become distracted (or SEEK distraction)? Do you tell yourself it wasn’t meant to be?

I posted a quote on Facebook earlier this week that said, “If we did all the things we were capable of doing we would literally astonish ourselves.” Isn’t it true?! What amazing things we could accomplish if we didn’t stall just before completion!

So how do you follow through? How do you give yourself the opportunity to astonish on a regular basis?

There are a few things that might be happening as you near the completion of a goal.

1)   You meet with greater resistance. – Things suddenly get harder and require more effort.  You start to wonder if it’s “worth it” to go to all that trouble. You discount the importance of the original goal and modify it to meet your needs at the moment.

2)   You are uncertain about what comes next. – The journey toward obtaining the goal has taken up lots of time and energy, and has dictated how you’ve operated the last long while. What do you do after completion?  That “not-knowing” can be enough to cause you to slooooow the process down, take a step backward, or even unknowingly thwart it.

3)   You fear maintaining the new normal. – Maintenance means subscribing to a new set of rules, which means there’s a limit to just sitting back, relaxing and enjoying. A different kind of effort has to be put forth, and if it isn’t, that new level of achievement is at risk of fading away. You sometimes sidestep your goals in order to avoid the loss you might feel if you are unable to maintain your results.

4)   You are intimidated by having to meet a higher standard. – You can hesitate if you know that you’ll have to work even harder next time as you raise the bar once again.

5)   You challenge your current view of yourself. – Astonishing yourself results in your being further defined by new accomplishments. This may feel at odds with how you’ve viewed yourself prior to that point.

So what do you do to combat these challenges?crossing the finish line

  • Go back to the beginning. – Take some time to reaffirm your commitment to your goal and why it was so important to you to begin with.  Keep the completion of that goal and what it means to you in the forefront of your mind.  You may want to post something (a picture representing its completion or an inspirational quote) in a place where you will see it on a regular basis so that you are constantly reminded to see it through and of the rewards that are in store for you.
  • Surrender to the possibility that awaits you. – You might not know what comes next.  However, chances are that the skills and determination that saw you through to this new destination are enough to take you even farther.  Trust that you can handle what is around the bend.
  • Enlist support in maintaining the new normal. – Chances are others will be excited about your progress and may very well want to be a part of it.  Ask for, and invest in, help in keeping the momentum going.
  • Be open to being astonished once again. – Take the opportunity to enjoy.  You have a choice to keep reaching higher, or not, and you set the time frame for that.
  • Imagine what it will be like to have already achieved your goal. – Try it on for size.  Envision it in a way that is in alignment with the values that are most important to you.  Reaching new levels of success does not need to challenge your view of yourself; allow it to enhance it.

You CAN reach what you now see as your finish line!  And I bet you can surpass it in ways you may never have imagined!

Go ASTONISH yourself!

Warmly, Laurie

P.S.  If you need some assistance with this, I encourage you to go here and sign up for a complimentary 30 minute strategy session with me so we can finally propel you toward your finish line in a powerful way.  I look forward to hearing from you!

Laurie Leinwand is a Certified Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

A Special Wish for You

As you know, Sunday is Mother’s Day.  It is a day to honor those, whether they are here physically with us or not, that have nurtured us along the way.  I am incredibly lucky to be able to share a meal with both my mom and my mother-in-law this weekend.  I don’t take these opportunities for granted.

I am keenly aware of the gift I’ve been given in becoming a mom.  Each night I do my best to recount all of the things I am grateful for as I fall asleep.  My three kids are at the top of that list.

When I talk about my mission to help moms build their best lives OUTSIDE of parenting, it’s not in spite of their children, it’s because of them.  Kids deserve to have happy and fulfilled moms, moms who make conscious choices.  It’s those moms that are so good at parenting.

They demonstrate to their children what it’s like to make hard decisions, how to value themselves and encourage others to do the same, how to balance responsibility with fun and pleasure, and how to own the process of carving out an existence that is meaningful to them.

mom image

My mission is to help moms empower themselves, and in so doing, these moms strengthen their capacity to be incredible role models.

Enjoy this coming Mother’s Day by honoring your mom, or another person who has shined their light on you, in some special way.  And, if YOU are a mom, or are like a mom, find a way to pay tribute to yourself and all that you have done to nurture your loved ones’ goals, dreams and desires.

Have a Happy Mother’s Day.

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.  If you are interested in taking advantage of Laurie’s Mother’s Day Special (expiring shortly) click here.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

7 Days to Rejuvenation [You Can Do This WITHOUT Lots of Time and Money]

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I thought about what most moms crave in the often crazy, busy, juggling world of 24/7 parenting.  Many are looking for a break, but better than that, many are looking for something that will have longer lasting, more permanent effects.

So I’ve come up with a 7 Days to Rejuvenation Plan.  It’s not hard and requires little time OR money – now we’re talking!

In order for the Plan to have the greatest impact, I recommend continuing each day’s practice on all of the remaining days to follow.  In other words, on Day 7, you will also be doing the recommended action items of Days 1 through 6.

Here we go!

Day 1Exercise.  Even just 30 minutes of physical activity will help you to feel more alive and stronger as well.  Don’t have 30 minutes to spare?  Don’t diminish the power of 15 minute intervals.  Exercise in two 15 minute chunks.  You’ll feel better for having done so and you will have squashed one of your go-to excuses.

Day 2Remove something from your diet.  Approach this as a kind of experiment.  Do you suspect that your body may not be tolerating something you’ve been eating for a while?  This is the perfect opportunity to eliminate that item and see how your body responds.  Does your digestion or skin improve?  Are you less prone to mood swings?  Do you have more energy as a result?  Foods you might want to consider abandoning are sugar, white flour or dairy.

Day 3Introduce a healthy food.  If your diet is full of grab and go, convenient carbohydrate or sugar laden items, you might want to consider adding a healthy option or two.  Incredibly healthy foods to consider adding to your diet include blueberries, almonds, broccoli, spinach, salmon and avocados.  If you are just not into adding certain foods, do you best to drink more water.

Day 45 Minute Meditation.  Take a few quiet moments each morning, preferably before your feet hit the floor, to consider what your intentions are for the day.  Be deliberate in the way you think about them so that you end up making really conscious choices.  Think about what you would like to receive and what you have to offer.  This is also your opportunity to acknowledge any self-defeating thoughts as they creep in and then allow them to move on, away from you, like clouds in the sky.

Day 5Connect.  Whether it’s through a phone call, a cup of coffee, a walk or an evening get-together, connecting with others is paramount to your well-being.  It reduces any sense of isolation you may feel.  Choose to do something fun or interesting with someone in your world, whether it be a friend, your spouse, another relative or your child.

Day 6Cleanse.  You can approach this step in a couple of ways.  You can have a relaxing, spa-like bath and use a full-body exfoliator to slough off dead skin and reveal the newness beneath (exfoliate only once or twice a week).

OR you can choose to clean and organize your desk, a counter top, a closet, or if you’re really ambitious, an entire room.  Doing this will give you a fresh perspective and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the effect clean surfaces have on you.  Chances are these changes will enable you to breathe a little easier.

Day 7Practice gratitude.  Before you go to sleep at night, take note of all that you appreciate in your world.  This enables to close your day from a place of fullness instead of wanting.  You end up falling asleep with a smile of your face as opposed to an ache in your heart.

Remember with each consecutive day, it’s best to continue the steps from the prior days of the week.

As a result of these 7 Days, you will experience renewed energy and empowerment for having chosen to do “good” things for yourself.  You will also hopefully begin the process of creating new “grooves” – healthy habits that have the potential to become your new normal.

With little or no cost, and not too much time, you can create tiny shifts in your day that are designed to have a BIG impact.

It doesn’t have to be Mother’s Day for you to treat yourself.  You can do this at any time to up your energy and point your life in a more positive direction.   Enjoy your 7 Days to Rejuvenation!

If you need help in setting up these practices, or you feel too bogged down to even try, go here to set up a FREE 30 minute “Time for Change” Coaching Call.  You may want to take advantage of her Mother’s Day Special Offer.  Go here to learn more.

Laurie Leinwand, founder of  Ideas 2 Action, is a Certified Life Coach and Licensed Professional Counselor.  Her mission is to help women move through transitional phases of their lives triumphantly.  She specializes in inspiring and empowering moms to build their best lives outside of parenting according to THEIR needs, goals and desires.  Working with Laurie, her clients go from stuck, stressed, overwhelmed and confused to focused, motivated and fulfilled.  She helps her clients find clarity around what it is they really want, identify true obstacles, develop strategies for overcoming them, and ultimately reach their goals due to increased accountability and always knowing their next steps.

Laurie also provides workshops on topics such as Jump Starting Your Life, Strategies for Saying NO and Making Friends with Change, and is a co-author of an upcoming compilation book on personal development called Catch Your Star.

You Don’t Know if You Don’t Ask

I want to share a success story of someone with whom I’ve worked.  He had been frustrated with the “red tape” he was dealing with at work.  He wanted additional responsibility and had already demonstrated his capacity to take on more.  His problem was that every time he wanted to make a decision involving large amounts of money, he had to wait for approval by a committee, whose verdict he would often not receive until long after it was relevant.

He complained about these circumstances for some time, attributing it to the “powers that be” within the company.  He then decided to see if HE could do something to change it, and came up with a very specific, simple strategy…which is exactly why it worked.

He decided to send a request to the committee that traditionally weighed in on these issues.  He chose to ask that he be given discretion up to a specific amount of dollars, an amount he had proven himself to deal with effectively and appropriately on countless occasions.

And then he did something more that was so smart, and yet so simple.  He walked into his boss’ office (his boss was separate from the committee) and let him know of his intention to send the email.  He did not open the subject up for discussion; he just let his boss know what he was about to do.  He then said to him, “After I send my note, I just ask that you do one thing.  Simply reply all (to those on the committee) and state that you are in support of my request.”  His boss agreed.

He sent the email and his boss quickly replied to all with a very simple message of support, probably no more than a sentence or two.  Within a short time, ALL the committee members replied that they too supported giving him greater discretion to make decisions with regard to the higher limit he set for himself…a unanimous response in less than two hours.  This type of vote would normally require being put on the next committee meeting’s agenda, meaning it could have taken a month to receive an answer.

He was amazed at what he had accomplished.  He had never before tried another way.  He, like most employees, simply adhered to the way things were traditionally done.

Here’s why this person’s request worked:

  • he came up with a simple strategy
  • he found a means of support
  • he did not leave room for discussion
  • he spelled out exactly what he needed/wanted from others.

His plan consisted of an email, that’s it, inviting a YES.  He asked his boss to provide a vote of confidence and told him exactly what to say.  His boss did not need to think about how to craft his response.  It was spelled out for him, and he obviously agreed with the validity of the request.

He did not invite discourse.  By setting his own limit on his future responsibilities, he did not leave it to others to decide or debate.

Keeping things simple and being so specific about what he wanted made it easy for others to say YES to him.

By taking this action, he rediscovered his sense of power, enabling him to greatly reduce his level of frustration and renewing his spirit to do great work at his place of employment.  The worst thing that could have happened is that he might have been told NO; however, his situation would have been no different than it was currently.

Where is the power within you?

You don’t know the answer to your request if you never ask.  Someone might say yes to you as well.  What would happen if you asked precisely for what you want?  Is it possible that it need not be as complicated as you may have imagined?

Ask for what you want and share your success stories with me!  If you need some assistance in getting started, contact me for a free 30 minute coaching strategy session.  Call (973)343-6287 to schedule.

Warmly,  Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Certified Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

One of her specialty areas is career life coaching for women and men transitioning between jobs or reentering the workforce.  If you are stuck in your job or career and need help in finding fulfillment and your life purpose, Laurie can help you break through and arrive at your desired destination fast and efficiently.  She also coaches clients who are stay at home parents.  Stay at home moms and dads are required to make adjustments regularly as their children grow – this can be difficult.  Laurie also works with them as they make pivotal decisions such as returning to work.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

Spring is (Almost) Here!

It’s technically spring though it doesn’t necessarily feel like it here in NJ.  But there’s definitely something in the air.

I love the change of seasons.  It’s a way to mark the passage of time and keeps things interesting.  Things are never the same for too long.  My favorite transition is from winter to spring – I’m not really a fan of cold weather.  I love noticing buds beginning to emerge on plants and trees, and how the air smells so good, and how days over 50 degrees feel like such a treat initially.  I love being able to opt for a sweatshirt instead of a coat.  I adore how the color green begins to fill in the gray-brown spaces and how sometimes, when I’m driving, the sun hits my window at a certain angle and I feel like I might actually be getting a tan in my car.

But the spring is when I begin to sneeze, and my skin itches and I start to feel a little “funky” overall.  My body seems to say, “Here comes change and I’m not so sure about all this.”  I become more sensitive to certain foods.  My energy ebbs and flows seemingly without reason.

I’ve learned to welcome this process and liken it to change in general.  It’s uncomfortable.  My body reacts viscerally, rejecting it at first.  And then it slowly begins to familiarize itself with what is new.  Prior to change, or growth or emerging, I can feel upended, less grounded, and uncomfortable in my own skin.  But I know what beauty and excitement are in store if I simply give myself the freedom to move through this phase, rather than resist.

So now, instead of necessarily bemoaning a few of weeks of sneezy, itchy discomfort, I welcome them, knowing that warmer weather, gorgeous blooms and longer days are to follow.  And when I work toward my goals and experience something similar, professionally OR personally, I remind myself that my spring, a new phase of my own blossoming is what will come next.

Can you remember a time in your life when something fantastic happened for you?  Do you recall how you felt right before that time?  I would imagine you probably didn’t coast into those benevolent circumstances.  Chances are you experienced some sense of struggle beforehand.

Don’t fear or shy away from discomfort.  It might be signaling something amazing is right around the bend.  Happy Spring!

Warmly, Laurie

P.S.  I’d love to hear about YOUR experiences prior to a welcome change.  Was there discomfort?  Did you find any part of you resisting the newness of it, despite truly wanting it?

Laurie Leinwand, founder of  Ideas 2 Action, is a Certified Life Coach and Licensed Professional Counselor.  She works primarily with women in transitional phases of their lives, specializing in inspiring moms to rediscover who they are so they can successfully build lives for themselves outside of parenting according to THEIR needs, goals and desires.  Working with Laurie, her clients go from stuck, stressed, overwhelmed and confused to focused, empowered, motivated and fulfilled.  She helps her clients find clarity around what it is they really want, identify true obstacles, develop strategies for overcoming them, and ultimately reach their goals due to increased accountability and always knowing their next steps.

Laurie also provides workshops on topics such as Jump Starting Your Life and Strategies for Saying NO, and is a co-author of an upcoming book on personal development called Catch Your Star.

If you are ready to move YOUR life forward, call Laurie at (973) 343-6287 to inquire about her coaching programs.  Her coaching is done by phone is accessible to all.

Ideas 2 Action Named Among Top 100 Life Coach Blogs to Follow in 2013

I’m proud to report that Ideas 2 Action has been included among the Top 100 Life Coach Blogs to Follow in 2013.  The link to this infographic is here – http://www.couponaudit.com/blog/top-100-life-coach-blogs-to-follow-in-2013-infographic/.  In light of this exciting news, please feel free to share my blog with others that might be interested.  I’m eager to get your feedback on my posts and for you to share YOUR experiences with me.  Thanks so much for your interest and support thus far.  I love what I do and I feel honored to be able to share my thoughts, experiences and observations with YOU.  Here’s to great success for ALL of us in 2013!!

Warmly, Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Certified Life Coach and Licensed Professional Counselor.  She works primarily with women in transitional phases of their lives, specializing in inspiring moms to rediscover who they are so they can successfully build lives for themselves outside of parenting according to THEIR needs, goals and desires.  Working with Laurie, her clients go from stuck, stressed, overwhelmed and confused to focused, empowered, motivated and fulfilled.  She helps her clients find clarity around what it is they really want, identify true obstacles, develop strategies for overcoming them, and ultimately reach their goals due to increased accountability and always knowing their next steps.

Laurie also provides workshops on topics such as Jump Starting Your Life and Strategies for Saying NO.

If you are ready to move YOUR life forward, call Laurie at (973) 343-6287 to inquire about her coaching programs.  Her coaching is done by phone is accessible to all.

Is there a Cap on your Success?

I was coaching a client recently who had worked really hard to achieve something spectacular in her life.  She was feeling euphoric as a result of her accomplishment when she heard that someone close to her had suffered an extremely upsetting disappointment.  Her euphoria quickly began to fade.  She questioned if she was somehow responsible for her family member’s difficulties, whether she had so much favor bestowed upon her that there was none left for those around her.

This was a limiting belief of hers that needed to be challenged in order for her to continue to progress.  Otherwise, she was destined to hold herself back from her true potential, shying away from the success for which she had strived so hard.

Do you have limiting beliefs of your own?  You may not even be aware of them.  When things begin to take shape for you, when you find yourself moving substantially closer to your goals, do you ever notice yourself hesitating, putting off success or fulfillment for just a little longer?

Tune into the thought process linked to this behavior.  These are some examples of limiting beliefs:

  • I question whether I truly deserve success.
  • I am unsure I will be able to handle the next step.
  • I do not know if I can live up to new/increased expectations or responsibilities.
  • I am concerned about how others might perceive my success.
  • I question whether I have worked hard enough to earn a positive outcome.
  • Once I have achieved this goal, I will have reached my success ceiling.
  • If this is my personal pinnacle, I have nowhere to go but down.
  • If I succeed, others will fail.

If you notice that YOU have limiting beliefs that hold YOU back, be deliberate in challenging them.  Develop ‘encouraging beliefs’ that combat them.

Examples of encouraging beliefs are:

  • I deserve success as much as anybody.
  • I can handle anything as long as I am determined to do so.
  • I have the ability to learn from, and embrace, new challenges.
  • I have worked hard to achieve my goals.
  • When I succeed, I can serve as a model to others to do the same.
  • There is plenty success to go around.
  • There will always be new goals I can choose to pursue.

Do not put a cap on your own success.  Take ownership of all that is good in your life and all the good you have yet to receive.  Put the cap on your limiting beliefs and step fully into your success.

Warmly, Laurie

P.S. Which encouraging belief will you use to keep moving forward?  Is there one you would like to share that is not listed above?

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

One of her specialty areas is career life coaching for women and men transitioning between jobs or reentering the workforce.  If you are stuck in your job or career and need help in finding fulfillment and your life purpose, Laurie can help you break through and arrive at your desired destination fast and efficiently.  She also coaches clients who are stay at home parents.  Stay at home moms and dads are required to make adjustments regularly as their children grow – this can be difficult.  Laurie also works with them as they make pivotal decisions such as returning to work.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

What Might it Mean to Surrender

As I write this, I’m sitting in my car on the side of a local road in my town with my hazards flashing, waiting for AAA to come and “rescue” me.   Driving home from this morning’s workout, sweaty, no make-up, no hat on my crazy tied back hair head (who was I gonna see,  I was heading straight home and it’s a 10 minute car ride at most), I got a flat tire. No idea how that happened, but I’m struck by the irony that I’ve not had ANY problems with this car since I got it 6 months ago, and I took it in for service for the first time last week, and NOW I have a problem.  I know- I’m sure one has nothing to do with the other. But still…

So I sit here and wait. Initially, I think of a lot of ways to perpetuate my being pissed off. I think of how I’m hungry and have no snacks in my purse (lesson learned), and how I should always have a book in the car so I can at least be reading, and how I have so many calls to make and so much work to do and time is slipping away.

And then I decide I can try a different approach. I can surrender to the circumstances, and even try to make the best of them.

First, I acknowledge all that is “right”.  My membership with AAA is current and I have my card handy.  I have gas in my car and can run it on and off to stay warm.  My phone is charged, I’m blessed to have a smart phone on which I can check email, write notes, play games if I want to, and of course make calls.  I even have my car phone charger if my phone begins to die.  A policeman stopped for a moment to make sure I was okay.  I have no appointment for which I am late as a result of this situation.  Ahhhh….this shift to what I am grateful for, rather than what I’m angry about changes the way I feel, AND the way I behave.

I call a couple of friends to whom I owe a phone call.  Neither is available, but I feel better about having reached out to say hi.  I check my email.  And then I decide to write this blog in the Notes section on my phone.  Writing is a way of owning the discomfort I feel without allowing it to control me.  I found a way to be productive, as opposed to feeling like I’m simply WAITING.

The surrendering involves me saying to myself, “there’s nothing I can do to change my current circumstances.”  However, I can change how I respond to them.  When I surrender, I relax, and when I relax, I think far more clearly.  If I’m full of frustration and anger and resentment, my capacity to problem solve and make decisions is limited.  And those feelings have a tendency to take over, reaching their tentacles far beyond the situation, extending further into my day.

When I stop RESISTING my situation, and start working within it, even finding things within it for which I am grateful, and taking notice of how I may have actually been prepared for it after all, I am much more likely to move beyond it quickly and easily.

RESISTING what I can’t control is wasted energy.  So I focus on what I AM able to do, and what I might do to feel more empowered in the face of it next time…things like learning how to change a tire myself, keeping snacks in the car, etc.

AAA is here!

AAA man (they don’t waste time introducing themselves) switched my bum tire out for the spare and I’m heading home.  I’ll deal with fixing the tire later today.

Next time you’re faced with a frustrating situation, or you’re “stuck,” think about what surrendering to it would mean.  If you let go of your resistance, could you actually end up freeing yourself?

Warmly,  Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as howto make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.  Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

Asking for Help

Why is it sometimes so hard to ask for help?

I do believe that it’s important that we try to do things on our own at first. But if we are struggling, or stuck, we don’t have to remain that way.

Is it FEAR that stops you?  FEAR of being seen as “less than” or weak?  FEAR of being told No?  FEAR of being found out (you don’t know how to do that!)?  FEAR of being vulnerable?

Let’s look at what would happen if the proverbial shoe was on the other foot…

What would you do if someone asked YOU for help?  How would you feel about it?  Is it possible that you’d feel honored or pleased that someone wanted to tap into your perceived expertise?  Would you want to share it?  Would you want to contribute to someone else’s success?  If you find yourself answering Yes to these questions, then isn’t it possible that your OWN request for help would be met similarly?

Chances are you’re surrounded by like-minded individuals who would feel privileged to offer you what you need.  They would do this knowing that you would do the same for them.

If you are not willing to offer assistance to others, you might not get an enthusiastic response when asking someone to help you.

In order for us to receive easily, we have to be able to give.

Take a good look at yourself.

If you’re the kind of person who’d be happy to help others if you’re able to, consider that those around you would happily do the same for you.  Be willing to test this out.

If you’ve discovered that you are NOT the kind of person who is eager to help others, maybe it’s time to discover why you’re withholding your gifts.  Unlocking that within yourself will open you up big-time to what you are not currently allowing yourself to receive.  It will strengthen your relationships with others and will help you to feel less isolated, and more shored up by the community around you.

How easily do YOU ask for help?  Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to move forward.  Don’t stay stuck.  And don’t assume that are others aren’t there for you.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.  Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

Where the Magic Happens

This year I decided I’m really going to challenge myself.  My new mantra is “step into the discomfort.”  I don’t want to find myself avoiding the things I don’t want to do (but need to do) in order to be my best self.

I’ll give you an example.  For a long time I wasn’t happy with my weight, and perhaps more importantly, my fitness level.  I was tired, out of shape and feeling yucky overall.  I’d exercise once in a while, but never regularly and I’d never push myself or take it to the next level.  I’d just do it to get it over with.  My eating habits weren’t great either.  I’d “enjoy” certain foods like bread and sweets, only to crash later and crave them even more, leading to energy ups and downs that I knew weren’t serving me well.  To be honest, I was disappointed in myself.  I knew better, and I was upset that I wasn’t honoring the body I’d been given.  I had the potential to be in shape and energetic and I wasn’t reaching it.  What a waste!  And I wasn’t doing the best job in terms of modeling for my children.

I decided in December that it was time to finally do something!  I knew that I needed help.  I needed to be held accountable and needed someone to push me to prove to myself that I COULD do it.  I signed up with a personal trainer that I work with twice a week.  I try to do some cardio on the other days but I don’t punish myself if I don’t.  Those 2 training sessions each week serve as my anchor.  The trainer increases weights or the number of reps or changes the exercises on a regular basis so my body has to reach beyond what it knows and enter the realm of discomfort.  When I finish those workouts, I feel strong and powerful and I carry those feelings with me for the remainder of my day.

I’ve also changed the way I eat.  No point in working out ambitiously only to sabotage myself with what I put in my mouth.  I’ve drastically reduced the amount of sugar I consume and hardly ever eat bread.  I’m not gonna lie, I miss fresh hot bagels on Sunday mornings, but I feel SO much better physically as a result.  And thankfully I’ve lost a few pounds to boot.

It wasn’t easy for me to call the trainer and schedule that first appointment.  I had to get past wishing I could get in shape on my own.  I had to be willing to ask for help.  I had to be willing to invest in myself and put some of my earnings toward my physical (and emotional) well-being.  And I had to push past my doubt to make it happen.

The trainer actually didn’t show for our first training session.  Another client named Laurie had texted him to cancel and he confused her with me.  I could have decided not to go back at all then and there.  I could have asked for my money back and decided based on that one event that he couldn’t be any good having made a mistake like that.  I could have used his no-show as MY excuse to not get fit, blaming him all the while.  But I didn’t.  He apologized, we rescheduled, and my journey to fitness began a couple of days later than I anticipated, but the point is, it began.  I followed through, and continue to.

I’ve chosen to step into the discomfort in others area of my life as well, confronting my fears, proving to myself what I really am capable of.  It’s scary, for sure, but also incredibly exciting.

Have you seen this picture?

where-the-magic-happens

I imagine this picture every time I’m faced with fear.  I consider whether I am keeping myself “stuck” or simply status quo, and missing out on all the magic, the possibility, that lies beyond my comfort zone.

I want the magic.

In order to get the magic, I have to lose the excuses, do what might be difficult, confront my fears, be willing to make mistakes or even make a fool of myself, and s-t-r-e-t-c-h.

I have to step into the discomfort.

WILL YOU?

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

Catch Your Star

Laurie's chapter in Catch Your Star will inspire you to see CHANGE as a tool to vastly improve your life. She and 19 other experts share definitive strategies for identifying personal values and belief patterns, changing a stuck mindset and tapping into dreams and intuition. Order your autographed copy today!

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