General

Seeing Firsthand Why Support is so Important

My 16 year-old son was injured a week ago Friday at his ice hockey game.  He left the rink in an ambulance despite being able to walk, but it was scary just the same, bringing my 10 year-old to tears.  My son separated his shoulder, tearing several ligaments.  His collarbone now protrudes from the top of his shoulder.  He will heal (though that collarbone will likely serve as a reminder of what happened).  He will probably heal faster and more efficiently due to the fact that he is an athlete and is in really good physical condition.  He is strong and agile, so that while physical therapy will be challenging and painful I’m sure, his body is ready for it.  He won’t be starting from square one.  The foundation, his physical “infrastructure,” allows his body to deal with the stress of the injury effectively and he’ll bounce back quickly.

His body supports him.

And so have his family and friends.  He’s received so many notes, phone calls and messages of encouragement.  That, too, serves to lift him up when he’s feeling discouraged or impatient, wanting desperately to be right back on the ice.

What kind of support exists for you?

First – how well do you take care of YOURSELF so that you can weather the stressors life throws at you on a regular basis?  Stuff happens.  How healthy is the physical and emotional foundation you have built?  Are there things you can do to strengthen it further, like eating right, exercising and getting enough rest?

Second – how well do you tend to your relationships, so that when you hit a rough patch or need to be buoyed a bit by those around you, people are willing to do so?  How often do you lighten someone else’s load, even just a little?  I believe that kindness and positivity come right back at you when you need them to.

And third – and this is key – are you willing to receive support when it is offered to you?  Are you willing to ask for it?  While it’s important to do what you can for yourself (this is how you return to “normal” and grow stronger), sometimes you need to simply stop, look around, and take note of the support you’ve cultivated.  Soak it in.  Be grateful for it.  You laid the ground work.  You created your foundation.

And if you decide that your foundation has a few cracks, then it’s time to do something about it.  Don’t wait for something bad to happen to realize you have no safety net.  Begin construction now.

So you can see why support is so important.  I saw it firsthand.  So take good care of yourself and others you care about.  And when you’re down, your support system (within and beyond) will lift you up, just as my son’s did for him.

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Certified Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.  Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

What do you do When the Going Gets Tough?

We’ve all been through it.  Days, months, sometimes even years when it seemed as though nothing would go our way, or we felt like the odds were stacked against us, or we were just destined to stay on a path where things remained the same, despite our best efforts to make it better.

How do you approach these rough times?

People have different strategies for dealing with adversity.

Here’s what doesn’t work:

  • Hiding your head in the sand and playing the game of denial – Once you lift your head up, the situation typically remains the same.  The same obstacles that impeded your progress haven’t moved because you haven’t offered any resistance.  This is a passive approach that often leaves you feeling helpless.
  • Blaming others – This approach puts the power in other people’s hands.  Yes, sometimes, there are things that are out of your control.  The key is in figuring out what YOU can do to affect the situation and offer the greatest likelihood that you will impact things in the way that you hope to.  Blaming others promotes negativity, not often a force that moves things forward.

Here’s what works SOMETIMES:

  • Changing course – If you change course to the path of least resistance, you may not end up where you intended to be.  However, if you change course because you are learning from mistakes and gathering information that reveals another road to your goals might be more effective, than changing course might be the very thing that’s necessary to see you through.

Here’s what Sets People Apart:

  • Connecting with your community and asking for help – Other people have been through challenging times as well.  Ask those you trust to share what strategies have worked for them.  Ask people if they have resources that might be of value to you.  If you have a support system, don’t be shy about accessing it.  Chances are if YOU knew you could help someone, you would.  Why would the people you are closest to behave any differently toward you?
  • Rolling up your sleeves – Perseverance, your determination and your ability to push through what’s difficult, disappointing and what tempts you to give up, will determine the level of success you’ll ultimately enjoy.  To be successful, and make it through the rough patches to the other side, you need to not only be willing to do the things that others aren’t willing to do, you need to actually DO them!

In your journey, I guaranty the going will get tough.

How will you respond next time?

Please share your thoughts with me through the Contact Page, or by leaving your comments on my Facebook page.

Warm Regards,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Certified Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

Blog after Sandy

I have to admit, I’m feeling a little out of sorts as I write this.  My state, the state of New Jersey, has been turned upside down this week.  I’ve been incredibly lucky:  I got my power back within a few days, the huge trees that fell on my property fell INTO the woods, my basement is dry, and most importantly my family is safe.

Others have not been so lucky, and I struggle to find some meaning in it all.  What can I learn, or be reminded of in situations like this?

Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

  • Hug the ones you love regularly and tell them how you feel about them.
  • Be grateful for your friends and let them know you care.
  • Plan ahead whenever possible.
  • Always appreciate the little things (you know, like how a light goes on when you flip a switch).
  • Seize the moments you do have and make them count!

Time is too important to waste.  There is no time like now to live my best life.  And no time like now for you to live yours.

If you are interested in helping with the relief efforts of the American Red Cross in connection with hurricane Sandy, click here to donate.

In the meantime, be safe, stay warm, and by all means, make what you want to happen in your life, HAPPEN!

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

Is Procrastination Keeping You Stuck?

What do you gain by procrastinating?

Is it that:

  • You work better under pressure.
  • You get to do more enjoyable things first.
  • You don’t have to deal with the challenge of doing something difficult or unpleasant until LATER?

What could you gain by NOT procrastinating, by doing something sooner rather than later?

  • A feeling of being in control.
  • A reduced sense of overwhelm.
  • The ability to ask for help if not waiting until the last minute (additional resources).
  • You wouldn’t have to be reminded (nagged?) repeatedly.
  • A sense of empowerment in facing a challenge.
  • Reduced stress without that thing hanging over your head.
  • The knowledge that you may be facing your fear.
  • The ability to cross something off your To Do list.
  • A sense of accomplishment.
  • More options open to you.
  • Time built in for unpredicted obstacles.

Procrastination is like a dirty word.  Lots of us procrastinate but most of us don’t like to admit it.  We like to feel productive and efficient, but are we really?

Procrastination is avoidance.  It always limits our choices in the end.  For some, this works.  Too many choices can be overwhelming.  For the rest of us, we end up putting undue stress on ourselves, and often others as well.

To combat procrastination, consider tackling the most difficult (or annoying) task you have to do FIRST!  Once that’s complete, all else will seem easy by comparison.  That thing, that had so much power over you beforehand, will now be a thing of the past.

Focus on what you CAN do.  What you focus on GROWS, and if you are busy focusing on what you think you CAN’T do, or what you don’t want to do, those things will become bigger in your mind.

Determine whether your expectations are realistic.  If you need things to be perfect, no wonder you’re procrastinating!  Be reasonable in terms of what you hope to deliver and what you want to accomplish.

Is it possible that you’re afraid of what comes AFTER…?  Could that be why you keep putting things off?  Asking questions about what comes next, doing some research, or formulating your OWN plan might be exactly what you need to squash your inclination to put off your own success.

Be accountable by letting others know what you’re aiming for.  Share milestones so others are aware of the progress you’re making.  It’s harder to procrastinate when others are waiting to hear about your results.

Another way to fight procrastination is to break down tasks into bite-size pieces.  When we’re intimated, we back away.  Smaller, more reasonable objectives are much easier to take on.

So if you’re ready to gain all that you could by kicking procrastination to the curb, I congratulate you!  See if tackling the hardest part first, focusing on what you’re actually able to do, examining your expectations, facing your fear, being accountable, and breaking things down all serve to get you to your own success FASTER!  Why wait?!

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.  Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

What Can Kids Teach Us?

At the risk of sounding like I’m bragging, I’m going to share a story about my son.  He did something these last few days that really impressed me.

My son is in the 5th grade.  It’s his second year at his current school.  He recently came home from school with instructions for an essay he was to write if he was interested in running for the student council.  He was a bit bummed that it was due just a couple of days later.  When I asked him about it, he stated he wasn’t sure what he was going to do and that he’d see if he even had time to write the essay.  The next evening I returned home from work to discover that he had, in fact, composed the essay on his own and had chosen to run.

He handed it in and waited to see what would happen next.  A few days later, he found out that he was selected to be one of the council representatives.  These students were then informed that if they wanted to run for President or Vice President of the student council, they would then have to read their essays in front of the entire 5th grade (90 students) during the lunch period of that day.

My son said that when he heard he’d have to read his essay publicly (and so soon), he was really scared.  He decided again, however, to go for it, despite being nervous, and delivered his speech first (“to get it over with”).  He told me that once he got rolling, he was fine.

As I write this, I don’t yet know if he was elected to either of the positions he sought.

This is what I DO know:

  • He made his own decisions. – No checking in with peers, siblings or parents.  He zeroed in on what HE wanted and didn’t allow any outside “noise” to enter into that decision-making process.  He understood that this was a decision he COULD make by himself.
  • He didn’t hesitate. – How often do we want things and ‘overthink’ how to go about getting them, procrastinate, or convince ourselves it’s too much trouble and not worth the effort?  I love that he simply went for it!
  • He forged ahead despite the discomfort. – He said he was scared and yet he knew he was safe.  He pushed himself to step outside of his comfort zone with no guarantee of what the results might be.

What stops US from going after what WE want?

What if we made choices (that obviously don’t impact others tremendously) without consulting the masses?

If we reduced the volume of the voices of others in our heads, would our choices and actions be more in line with our own desires and values?

What if we didn’t hesitate?  How much closer to our goals would we be?

Asking myself these questions, and watching the actions of my son, makes me realize that HE is sometimes a role model for ME.

How incredibly freeing to simply aim to go for it more often, trust my instincts (as opposed to looking for confirmation from others), and let go of second guessing and waiting!!

What could YOU do if you did the same?

Lessons learned from a 10 year old…

What have children taught you?

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

Are you tying yourself in knots?

How does “doing nothing” for a little while sound to you?  Now this is not normally something I go out of my way to recommend, but sometimes, when we’re working really hard at a nonstop pace, we start spinning our wheels and lose sight of what it is we’ve set out to do.  Occasionally we need to take a break, quiet our minds, reaffirm our goals and our efforts, and recalibrate.

What would happen if you were still?

You could catch your breath, you could refuel, you could check your progress, or take note of what’s not working.  This would enable you to correct your course and proceed in a more productive and efficient manner.

Are you worried about the consequences of taking a break?  What might happen?

It may be important to consider what might happen if you DIDN’T take a break.

The price you pay for a small “time out” may end up being far less than if you were to continue on a path that just doesn’t demonstrate that it’s working for you.  A brief respite might deliver more ROI than you imagine.

What would a much needed break do for YOU?

Could it be the very thing you need to move you forward once again?

Stop tying yourself in knots and allow yourself a breather once in a while.

With my feet up for a few..

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.  Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

Trying to Jump Start Your Mojo?

When was the last time you learned or tried something new?  Exploring a new hobby or interest might be just enough to get you excited, and that energy will extend to other areas of your life as well.

Is there something you’ve always wanted to try?  Have you considered ballroom dancing, knitting, skydiving, running, or maybe just a new restaurant?  Give it a shot and you’ll be surprised to find how it spurs you to do other things.  We often find comfort in our routines but need a change every so often to keep things fresh and inspiring.

You might also choose to become an expert on something you already know a little bit about.  This can be an amazing confidence booster.

Tap into your creativity.  How would it feel to draw, paint, write, play an instrument or dance?  No rules apply – simply experiment with it for the sake of enjoyment and free expression.

Do the opposite of what you normally do.  Eat dessert before dinner.  Alter your routine.  If you only drive one way to get to the dry cleaners, go a different way and see if you take notice of things you never had before.  Gain a new perspective.

Have fun for the sake of having fun!  Increase your repertoire.  Acquaint yourself with something other than your norm.  Get your creativity on!  Change things up once in a while.

All of these things can serve to jumpstart your mojo, move you out of the doldrums and propel you into novel, fun, exciting and interesting territory.

Make it happen!

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

In the Interest of Time..

It’s an epidemic!  Have you noticed that people don’t honor your time?  They tell you they’ll meet you at 9 and show up at 9:15 or not at all.  You make an appointment at 5 and don’t get seen until 5:30.  What’s worse is that we often don’t respect our OWN time.

  • Are you late to your appointments?
  • Do you neglect to budget enough time to complete tasks and are therefore always rushing, frazzled and feeling overwhelmed?
  • Do you procrastinate and waste time?                                                         

Don’t you deserve better?

I posted on 9/11 about how I was reminded to cherish and make every moment count.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I waste time too, and I’m not always as prompt as I’d like to be, but I’ve pledged to do better.  Every time I find myself rushing and racing, I know I’ve shortchanged myself.  I’ve dishonored my time and the time of others as well.

When I plan appropriately and show up when I’m supposed to, I feel more at ease, more in control, and I know I’ve demonstrated respect for those I’m meeting.  I feel good about the fact that I haven’t inconvenienced someone else, or abused his or her time.

Promptness is more important than we realize.  It illustrates the importance (or lack of importance) that we attribute to the people or things in our lives.

Do you honor yourself by honoring your time?

Would it feel better to do so, rather than make false excuses for being late and find yourself apologizing repeatedly?

Aren’t YOU worth the full value that each moment has to offer, and aren’t those you interact with?

What will you do to better honor your time, and yourself, going forward?

Warmly, Laurie

 

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

 

What’s In Your Way?

I bet there are things or circumstances that you want for yourself that will improve your quality of life.  What separates you from them?

Can you identify the obstacles without blaming others or naming excuses?  If you can’t, then you attribute what you don’t have to that which is beyond your control, implying that you’ll never have what you want.

Now try looking at those hurdles more objectively.  Are there actually things that are within your control, things that you might be able to change?  Try to locate your power within you.

Sometimes FEAR is what holds us back.  Fear of the unknown, fear of the next step, fear of success because expectations might be higher thereafter.  Think about the possibilities that might exist if you were to face the fear.  Imagine what that experience might feel like!

How would you rate your level of commitment to getting what you want?  Are you willing to put forth the effort necessary to achieve your goals?  Remember that it’s best to approach things in bite size pieces.  Your commitment and motivation may falter if you bite off more than you can chew.

Do your obstacles include the messages you tell yourself?  By this, I mean things like “who do you think you are?!” or “you couldn’t possibly achieve that!”  Take a look at your inner dialogue and see if you can replace some of those self-defeating messages with more encouraging ones like “I deserve this as much as anybody” or “I will be proud of myself for trying, regardless of the end result.”  Often, WE are the ones standing in our own way.

Identifying your obstacles will help you develop the necessary strategies for surpassing them.  Be realistic and honest with yourself and figure out what YOU can do to overcome the hurdles that keep you stuck.  Find the strength within you to move yourself forward.  If you’re waiting for the perfect time, that time may never come.  How can you play a pivotal role in moving the mountains that stand before you?  Or what can you do to get around them?

If you’re interested in learning more about how to overcome obstacles and become unstuck, click here.  Simply naming our challenges can strip them of their power over us and decrease the feeling of overwhelm that many of us feel.  I wish you much success in moving past YOUR obstacles!

Warmly,  Laurie

 

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.  Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

What Do You Want?

Really, what is it you want for yourself?  Imagine it in the greatest detail possible.  You can’t get somewhere if you aren’t sure of the destination.  Where do you want to go and how is it different from where you are now?  How will that DIFFERENCE impact you?  Think about what your life will be like if you don’t seek out what you desire.

Keep the image of what you’re aiming for close at hand.

The hard truth:  focusing on what isn’t working now and why it’s so awful will only cause you to remain stuck and feel victimized.  What you focus on looms larger in your mind, so expend that very same energy imagining your ideal and the steps to get there.  Focus on what you can begin to do to move in your “right” direction.

Another hard truth:  unfortunately you can’t wish things into existence.  Real effort is required.  However, being clear about what you want is one of the first important steps toward obtaining it.

Are you ready to ask for what you want?  Practice stating it by responding to this blog post…I’m eager to hear about what YOU want to make happen in your life.

Imagining your ideal is the 2nd step in my 7 Spectacular Steps to Getting Unstuck!  If you’re interested in learning more, click here to obtain all the strategies spelled out in my FREE E-book.

Again, drop me a note to tell me what you’re after in your life!

Warmly,

Laurie

 

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

Catch Your Star
Laurie's chapter in Catch Your Star will inspire you to see CHANGE as a tool to vastly improve your life. She and 19 other experts share definitive strategies for identifying personal values and belief patterns, changing a stuck mindset and tapping into dreams and intuition. Order your autographed copy today!
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