Setting Healthy Boundaries

Finding the time..

A common theme among those that I work with is that they just can’t find the time to do the things they say are important to them. Have you ever heard yourself saying those very words – “I would, but there’s just no time”?

When there is something I want to devote time to, and I just find that I never seem to get around to it, I know I need to employ a certain strategy to make the time for it!

I schedule blocks of time on my calendar so those times are blocked out as though I’ve made an appointment with someone else. In reality, I’ve schedule timeset aside time for me to address something I believe is important. It provides a structure and enables me to see clearly whether or not there truly IS time for this other thing.  Usually, it’s more the issue of honoring a commitment to me, rather than a scarcity of time.

I’ve learned that if something is important enough, and I make the effort to carve out some time, I can usually make it work.  I even become more efficient all the way around because I’ve got less time with which to play.

Some people get less done when they have too much time in which to accomplish their tasks. However, pile some more stuff on their To Do list and they will get cracking! Are you one of those? Then you just might surprise yourself with what you initially perceived was NOT ENOUGH time.

NOT ENOUGH is a way of thinking. It forces you to play from a place of scarcity rather than wealth. That way of thinking puts you at a disadvantage. Possibilities present themselves to you when you consider that you just might have ENOUGH. To believe you have what you need puts you in a power position. NOT ENOUGH thinking does the opposite.

Perhaps then carving out time can begin with a simple shift in perception.

What are you denying yourself by not making the time to do what is important to you?

Give yourself the gift of time.  Make appointments with yourself to do what is important to you and honor them the way you would honor a date made with someone else. Trust yourself to stay within the blocks you’ve chosen to set aside.

Don’t wait until the last minute to set this time aside.  Do it now, before you forget, while the strategy is fresh in your mind, and watch how you manage to find time that never seemed to exist before.

Let me know how it goes..

Warmly, Laurie

P.S. I have super exciting news! I am hosting a 3-hour live event and I’d love for you to come. It will be a morning of inspiration and great takeaways! To find out more about my program Stepping in 2 YOU and to register, click here. And please share the link with others that might ALSO be interested. The program is for every woman who’s felt bound by a certain identity or role she inhabits in her life. Questions? Call 973-343-6287 or email laurie@ideas2action-coaching.com.

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

Are you tying yourself in knots?

How does “doing nothing” for a little while sound to you?  Now this is not normally something I go out of my way to recommend, but sometimes, when we’re working really hard at a nonstop pace, we start spinning our wheels and lose sight of what it is we’ve set out to do.  Occasionally we need to take a break, quiet our minds, reaffirm our goals and our efforts, and recalibrate.

What would happen if you were still?

You could catch your breath, you could refuel, you could check your progress, or take note of what’s not working.  This would enable you to correct your course and proceed in a more productive and efficient manner.

Are you worried about the consequences of taking a break?  What might happen?

It may be important to consider what might happen if you DIDN’T take a break.

The price you pay for a small “time out” may end up being far less than if you were to continue on a path that just doesn’t demonstrate that it’s working for you.  A brief respite might deliver more ROI than you imagine.

What would a much needed break do for YOU?

Could it be the very thing you need to move you forward once again?

Stop tying yourself in knots and allow yourself a breather once in a while.

With my feet up for a few..

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.  Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

In the Interest of Time..

It’s an epidemic!  Have you noticed that people don’t honor your time?  They tell you they’ll meet you at 9 and show up at 9:15 or not at all.  You make an appointment at 5 and don’t get seen until 5:30.  What’s worse is that we often don’t respect our OWN time.

  • Are you late to your appointments?
  • Do you neglect to budget enough time to complete tasks and are therefore always rushing, frazzled and feeling overwhelmed?
  • Do you procrastinate and waste time?                                                         

Don’t you deserve better?

I posted on 9/11 about how I was reminded to cherish and make every moment count.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I waste time too, and I’m not always as prompt as I’d like to be, but I’ve pledged to do better.  Every time I find myself rushing and racing, I know I’ve shortchanged myself.  I’ve dishonored my time and the time of others as well.

When I plan appropriately and show up when I’m supposed to, I feel more at ease, more in control, and I know I’ve demonstrated respect for those I’m meeting.  I feel good about the fact that I haven’t inconvenienced someone else, or abused his or her time.

Promptness is more important than we realize.  It illustrates the importance (or lack of importance) that we attribute to the people or things in our lives.

Do you honor yourself by honoring your time?

Would it feel better to do so, rather than make false excuses for being late and find yourself apologizing repeatedly?

Aren’t YOU worth the full value that each moment has to offer, and aren’t those you interact with?

What will you do to better honor your time, and yourself, going forward?

Warmly, Laurie

 

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

 

Is it Selfish to Say NO?

Do you have trouble telling others NO?  A lot of us do.  It’s kind of ironic given that many of us spent our second year on earth uttering that very word rather emphatically and on a regular basis.  So what happened?  At what point did we begin to believe, on some level, that we need to say YES to too many things that are asked of us by others?  Did we say YES so we would be liked?  Did we do it because of the fear of what might happen if we actually said that tiny 2-letter word that hesitates on the tips of our tongues?

When we say YES all the time to others, chances are we end up saying NO to ourselves.  Things we hoped to do on our own behalf get moved to the bottom of the list.  We end up feeling exhausted, frustrated and resentful.  Often, we’re overwhelmed.

Now imagine this scenario flipped on its head.  Delivering a clear, concise NO to a request here and there would enable you to say YES to yourself.  Are there parts of you that you’ve been neglecting?  Address the things that are important to you.  Exercise your right to choose.  By being true to yourself about what you’d like to say YES and NO to, and behaving in accordance with that, you will notice that others will value you more for whom you are and what you are about, rather than what it is you do.

People will begin to appreciate more fully the occasions when you do say YES!

Take stock – check to see that your needs, responsibilities and priorities are being met and that something is not suffering as a direct result of your service to others.  If you believe you need to start saying NO once in a while, practice a phrase out loud that works for you such as “I’m sorry but my plate is full right now,” or “I’ll contact you when my calendar clears” or “Because I have several projects going right now, I won’t be able to give you my full attention…”  Find the phrase that works for you and feels right.

Saying NO isn’t easy, but it might be easier if you remind yourself of the flipside, what you’re saying YES to (time and energy for ______).

So, what do YOU think, is it selfish to say NO?  Feel free to share your thoughts..

Warmly, Laurie

 

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

 

 

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