decision-making

Finding the time..

A common theme among those that I work with is that they just can’t find the time to do the things they say are important to them. Have you ever heard yourself saying those very words – “I would, but there’s just no time”?

When there is something I want to devote time to, and I just find that I never seem to get around to it, I know I need to employ a certain strategy to make the time for it!

I schedule blocks of time on my calendar so those times are blocked out as though I’ve made an appointment with someone else. In reality, I’ve schedule timeset aside time for me to address something I believe is important. It provides a structure and enables me to see clearly whether or not there truly IS time for this other thing.  Usually, it’s more the issue of honoring a commitment to me, rather than a scarcity of time.

I’ve learned that if something is important enough, and I make the effort to carve out some time, I can usually make it work.  I even become more efficient all the way around because I’ve got less time with which to play.

Some people get less done when they have too much time in which to accomplish their tasks. However, pile some more stuff on their To Do list and they will get cracking! Are you one of those? Then you just might surprise yourself with what you initially perceived was NOT ENOUGH time.

NOT ENOUGH is a way of thinking. It forces you to play from a place of scarcity rather than wealth. That way of thinking puts you at a disadvantage. Possibilities present themselves to you when you consider that you just might have ENOUGH. To believe you have what you need puts you in a power position. NOT ENOUGH thinking does the opposite.

Perhaps then carving out time can begin with a simple shift in perception.

What are you denying yourself by not making the time to do what is important to you?

Give yourself the gift of time.  Make appointments with yourself to do what is important to you and honor them the way you would honor a date made with someone else. Trust yourself to stay within the blocks you’ve chosen to set aside.

Don’t wait until the last minute to set this time aside.  Do it now, before you forget, while the strategy is fresh in your mind, and watch how you manage to find time that never seemed to exist before.

Let me know how it goes..

Warmly, Laurie

P.S. I have super exciting news! I am hosting a 3-hour live event and I’d love for you to come. It will be a morning of inspiration and great takeaways! To find out more about my program Stepping in 2 YOU and to register, click here. And please share the link with others that might ALSO be interested. The program is for every woman who’s felt bound by a certain identity or role she inhabits in her life. Questions? Call 973-343-6287 or email laurie@ideas2action-coaching.com.

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

A Special Wish for You

As you know, Sunday is Mother’s Day.  It is a day to honor those, whether they are here physically with us or not, that have nurtured us along the way.  I am incredibly lucky to be able to share a meal with both my mom and my mother-in-law this weekend.  I don’t take these opportunities for granted.

I am keenly aware of the gift I’ve been given in becoming a mom.  Each night I do my best to recount all of the things I am grateful for as I fall asleep.  My three kids are at the top of that list.

When I talk about my mission to help moms build their best lives OUTSIDE of parenting, it’s not in spite of their children, it’s because of them.  Kids deserve to have happy and fulfilled moms, moms who make conscious choices.  It’s those moms that are so good at parenting.

They demonstrate to their children what it’s like to make hard decisions, how to value themselves and encourage others to do the same, how to balance responsibility with fun and pleasure, and how to own the process of carving out an existence that is meaningful to them.

mom image

My mission is to help moms empower themselves, and in so doing, these moms strengthen their capacity to be incredible role models.

Enjoy this coming Mother’s Day by honoring your mom, or another person who has shined their light on you, in some special way.  And, if YOU are a mom, or are like a mom, find a way to pay tribute to yourself and all that you have done to nurture your loved ones’ goals, dreams and desires.

Have a Happy Mother’s Day.

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.  If you are interested in taking advantage of Laurie’s Mother’s Day Special (expiring shortly) click here.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

Is there a Cap on your Success?

I was coaching a client recently who had worked really hard to achieve something spectacular in her life.  She was feeling euphoric as a result of her accomplishment when she heard that someone close to her had suffered an extremely upsetting disappointment.  Her euphoria quickly began to fade.  She questioned if she was somehow responsible for her family member’s difficulties, whether she had so much favor bestowed upon her that there was none left for those around her.

This was a limiting belief of hers that needed to be challenged in order for her to continue to progress.  Otherwise, she was destined to hold herself back from her true potential, shying away from the success for which she had strived so hard.

Do you have limiting beliefs of your own?  You may not even be aware of them.  When things begin to take shape for you, when you find yourself moving substantially closer to your goals, do you ever notice yourself hesitating, putting off success or fulfillment for just a little longer?

Tune into the thought process linked to this behavior.  These are some examples of limiting beliefs:

  • I question whether I truly deserve success.
  • I am unsure I will be able to handle the next step.
  • I do not know if I can live up to new/increased expectations or responsibilities.
  • I am concerned about how others might perceive my success.
  • I question whether I have worked hard enough to earn a positive outcome.
  • Once I have achieved this goal, I will have reached my success ceiling.
  • If this is my personal pinnacle, I have nowhere to go but down.
  • If I succeed, others will fail.

If you notice that YOU have limiting beliefs that hold YOU back, be deliberate in challenging them.  Develop ‘encouraging beliefs’ that combat them.

Examples of encouraging beliefs are:

  • I deserve success as much as anybody.
  • I can handle anything as long as I am determined to do so.
  • I have the ability to learn from, and embrace, new challenges.
  • I have worked hard to achieve my goals.
  • When I succeed, I can serve as a model to others to do the same.
  • There is plenty success to go around.
  • There will always be new goals I can choose to pursue.

Do not put a cap on your own success.  Take ownership of all that is good in your life and all the good you have yet to receive.  Put the cap on your limiting beliefs and step fully into your success.

Warmly, Laurie

P.S. Which encouraging belief will you use to keep moving forward?  Is there one you would like to share that is not listed above?

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

One of her specialty areas is career life coaching for women and men transitioning between jobs or reentering the workforce.  If you are stuck in your job or career and need help in finding fulfillment and your life purpose, Laurie can help you break through and arrive at your desired destination fast and efficiently.  She also coaches clients who are stay at home parents.  Stay at home moms and dads are required to make adjustments regularly as their children grow – this can be difficult.  Laurie also works with them as they make pivotal decisions such as returning to work.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

What Might it Mean to Surrender

As I write this, I’m sitting in my car on the side of a local road in my town with my hazards flashing, waiting for AAA to come and “rescue” me.   Driving home from this morning’s workout, sweaty, no make-up, no hat on my crazy tied back hair head (who was I gonna see,  I was heading straight home and it’s a 10 minute car ride at most), I got a flat tire. No idea how that happened, but I’m struck by the irony that I’ve not had ANY problems with this car since I got it 6 months ago, and I took it in for service for the first time last week, and NOW I have a problem.  I know- I’m sure one has nothing to do with the other. But still…

So I sit here and wait. Initially, I think of a lot of ways to perpetuate my being pissed off. I think of how I’m hungry and have no snacks in my purse (lesson learned), and how I should always have a book in the car so I can at least be reading, and how I have so many calls to make and so much work to do and time is slipping away.

And then I decide I can try a different approach. I can surrender to the circumstances, and even try to make the best of them.

First, I acknowledge all that is “right”.  My membership with AAA is current and I have my card handy.  I have gas in my car and can run it on and off to stay warm.  My phone is charged, I’m blessed to have a smart phone on which I can check email, write notes, play games if I want to, and of course make calls.  I even have my car phone charger if my phone begins to die.  A policeman stopped for a moment to make sure I was okay.  I have no appointment for which I am late as a result of this situation.  Ahhhh….this shift to what I am grateful for, rather than what I’m angry about changes the way I feel, AND the way I behave.

I call a couple of friends to whom I owe a phone call.  Neither is available, but I feel better about having reached out to say hi.  I check my email.  And then I decide to write this blog in the Notes section on my phone.  Writing is a way of owning the discomfort I feel without allowing it to control me.  I found a way to be productive, as opposed to feeling like I’m simply WAITING.

The surrendering involves me saying to myself, “there’s nothing I can do to change my current circumstances.”  However, I can change how I respond to them.  When I surrender, I relax, and when I relax, I think far more clearly.  If I’m full of frustration and anger and resentment, my capacity to problem solve and make decisions is limited.  And those feelings have a tendency to take over, reaching their tentacles far beyond the situation, extending further into my day.

When I stop RESISTING my situation, and start working within it, even finding things within it for which I am grateful, and taking notice of how I may have actually been prepared for it after all, I am much more likely to move beyond it quickly and easily.

RESISTING what I can’t control is wasted energy.  So I focus on what I AM able to do, and what I might do to feel more empowered in the face of it next time…things like learning how to change a tire myself, keeping snacks in the car, etc.

AAA is here!

AAA man (they don’t waste time introducing themselves) switched my bum tire out for the spare and I’m heading home.  I’ll deal with fixing the tire later today.

Next time you’re faced with a frustrating situation, or you’re “stuck,” think about what surrendering to it would mean.  If you let go of your resistance, could you actually end up freeing yourself?

Warmly,  Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as howto make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.  Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

Asking for Help

Why is it sometimes so hard to ask for help?

I do believe that it’s important that we try to do things on our own at first. But if we are struggling, or stuck, we don’t have to remain that way.

Is it FEAR that stops you?  FEAR of being seen as “less than” or weak?  FEAR of being told No?  FEAR of being found out (you don’t know how to do that!)?  FEAR of being vulnerable?

Let’s look at what would happen if the proverbial shoe was on the other foot…

What would you do if someone asked YOU for help?  How would you feel about it?  Is it possible that you’d feel honored or pleased that someone wanted to tap into your perceived expertise?  Would you want to share it?  Would you want to contribute to someone else’s success?  If you find yourself answering Yes to these questions, then isn’t it possible that your OWN request for help would be met similarly?

Chances are you’re surrounded by like-minded individuals who would feel privileged to offer you what you need.  They would do this knowing that you would do the same for them.

If you are not willing to offer assistance to others, you might not get an enthusiastic response when asking someone to help you.

In order for us to receive easily, we have to be able to give.

Take a good look at yourself.

If you’re the kind of person who’d be happy to help others if you’re able to, consider that those around you would happily do the same for you.  Be willing to test this out.

If you’ve discovered that you are NOT the kind of person who is eager to help others, maybe it’s time to discover why you’re withholding your gifts.  Unlocking that within yourself will open you up big-time to what you are not currently allowing yourself to receive.  It will strengthen your relationships with others and will help you to feel less isolated, and more shored up by the community around you.

How easily do YOU ask for help?  Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to move forward.  Don’t stay stuck.  And don’t assume that are others aren’t there for you.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.  Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

Where the Magic Happens

This year I decided I’m really going to challenge myself.  My new mantra is “step into the discomfort.”  I don’t want to find myself avoiding the things I don’t want to do (but need to do) in order to be my best self.

I’ll give you an example.  For a long time I wasn’t happy with my weight, and perhaps more importantly, my fitness level.  I was tired, out of shape and feeling yucky overall.  I’d exercise once in a while, but never regularly and I’d never push myself or take it to the next level.  I’d just do it to get it over with.  My eating habits weren’t great either.  I’d “enjoy” certain foods like bread and sweets, only to crash later and crave them even more, leading to energy ups and downs that I knew weren’t serving me well.  To be honest, I was disappointed in myself.  I knew better, and I was upset that I wasn’t honoring the body I’d been given.  I had the potential to be in shape and energetic and I wasn’t reaching it.  What a waste!  And I wasn’t doing the best job in terms of modeling for my children.

I decided in December that it was time to finally do something!  I knew that I needed help.  I needed to be held accountable and needed someone to push me to prove to myself that I COULD do it.  I signed up with a personal trainer that I work with twice a week.  I try to do some cardio on the other days but I don’t punish myself if I don’t.  Those 2 training sessions each week serve as my anchor.  The trainer increases weights or the number of reps or changes the exercises on a regular basis so my body has to reach beyond what it knows and enter the realm of discomfort.  When I finish those workouts, I feel strong and powerful and I carry those feelings with me for the remainder of my day.

I’ve also changed the way I eat.  No point in working out ambitiously only to sabotage myself with what I put in my mouth.  I’ve drastically reduced the amount of sugar I consume and hardly ever eat bread.  I’m not gonna lie, I miss fresh hot bagels on Sunday mornings, but I feel SO much better physically as a result.  And thankfully I’ve lost a few pounds to boot.

It wasn’t easy for me to call the trainer and schedule that first appointment.  I had to get past wishing I could get in shape on my own.  I had to be willing to ask for help.  I had to be willing to invest in myself and put some of my earnings toward my physical (and emotional) well-being.  And I had to push past my doubt to make it happen.

The trainer actually didn’t show for our first training session.  Another client named Laurie had texted him to cancel and he confused her with me.  I could have decided not to go back at all then and there.  I could have asked for my money back and decided based on that one event that he couldn’t be any good having made a mistake like that.  I could have used his no-show as MY excuse to not get fit, blaming him all the while.  But I didn’t.  He apologized, we rescheduled, and my journey to fitness began a couple of days later than I anticipated, but the point is, it began.  I followed through, and continue to.

I’ve chosen to step into the discomfort in others area of my life as well, confronting my fears, proving to myself what I really am capable of.  It’s scary, for sure, but also incredibly exciting.

Have you seen this picture?

where-the-magic-happens

I imagine this picture every time I’m faced with fear.  I consider whether I am keeping myself “stuck” or simply status quo, and missing out on all the magic, the possibility, that lies beyond my comfort zone.

I want the magic.

In order to get the magic, I have to lose the excuses, do what might be difficult, confront my fears, be willing to make mistakes or even make a fool of myself, and s-t-r-e-t-c-h.

I have to step into the discomfort.

WILL YOU?

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

What do you do When the Going Gets Tough?

We’ve all been through it.  Days, months, sometimes even years when it seemed as though nothing would go our way, or we felt like the odds were stacked against us, or we were just destined to stay on a path where things remained the same, despite our best efforts to make it better.

How do you approach these rough times?

People have different strategies for dealing with adversity.

Here’s what doesn’t work:

  • Hiding your head in the sand and playing the game of denial – Once you lift your head up, the situation typically remains the same.  The same obstacles that impeded your progress haven’t moved because you haven’t offered any resistance.  This is a passive approach that often leaves you feeling helpless.
  • Blaming others – This approach puts the power in other people’s hands.  Yes, sometimes, there are things that are out of your control.  The key is in figuring out what YOU can do to affect the situation and offer the greatest likelihood that you will impact things in the way that you hope to.  Blaming others promotes negativity, not often a force that moves things forward.

Here’s what works SOMETIMES:

  • Changing course – If you change course to the path of least resistance, you may not end up where you intended to be.  However, if you change course because you are learning from mistakes and gathering information that reveals another road to your goals might be more effective, than changing course might be the very thing that’s necessary to see you through.

Here’s what Sets People Apart:

  • Connecting with your community and asking for help – Other people have been through challenging times as well.  Ask those you trust to share what strategies have worked for them.  Ask people if they have resources that might be of value to you.  If you have a support system, don’t be shy about accessing it.  Chances are if YOU knew you could help someone, you would.  Why would the people you are closest to behave any differently toward you?
  • Rolling up your sleeves – Perseverance, your determination and your ability to push through what’s difficult, disappointing and what tempts you to give up, will determine the level of success you’ll ultimately enjoy.  To be successful, and make it through the rough patches to the other side, you need to not only be willing to do the things that others aren’t willing to do, you need to actually DO them!

In your journey, I guaranty the going will get tough.

How will you respond next time?

Please share your thoughts with me through the Contact Page, or by leaving your comments on my Facebook page.

Warm Regards,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Certified Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

What Can Kids Teach Us?

At the risk of sounding like I’m bragging, I’m going to share a story about my son.  He did something these last few days that really impressed me.

My son is in the 5th grade.  It’s his second year at his current school.  He recently came home from school with instructions for an essay he was to write if he was interested in running for the student council.  He was a bit bummed that it was due just a couple of days later.  When I asked him about it, he stated he wasn’t sure what he was going to do and that he’d see if he even had time to write the essay.  The next evening I returned home from work to discover that he had, in fact, composed the essay on his own and had chosen to run.

He handed it in and waited to see what would happen next.  A few days later, he found out that he was selected to be one of the council representatives.  These students were then informed that if they wanted to run for President or Vice President of the student council, they would then have to read their essays in front of the entire 5th grade (90 students) during the lunch period of that day.

My son said that when he heard he’d have to read his essay publicly (and so soon), he was really scared.  He decided again, however, to go for it, despite being nervous, and delivered his speech first (“to get it over with”).  He told me that once he got rolling, he was fine.

As I write this, I don’t yet know if he was elected to either of the positions he sought.

This is what I DO know:

  • He made his own decisions. – No checking in with peers, siblings or parents.  He zeroed in on what HE wanted and didn’t allow any outside “noise” to enter into that decision-making process.  He understood that this was a decision he COULD make by himself.
  • He didn’t hesitate. – How often do we want things and ‘overthink’ how to go about getting them, procrastinate, or convince ourselves it’s too much trouble and not worth the effort?  I love that he simply went for it!
  • He forged ahead despite the discomfort. – He said he was scared and yet he knew he was safe.  He pushed himself to step outside of his comfort zone with no guarantee of what the results might be.

What stops US from going after what WE want?

What if we made choices (that obviously don’t impact others tremendously) without consulting the masses?

If we reduced the volume of the voices of others in our heads, would our choices and actions be more in line with our own desires and values?

What if we didn’t hesitate?  How much closer to our goals would we be?

Asking myself these questions, and watching the actions of my son, makes me realize that HE is sometimes a role model for ME.

How incredibly freeing to simply aim to go for it more often, trust my instincts (as opposed to looking for confirmation from others), and let go of second guessing and waiting!!

What could YOU do if you did the same?

Lessons learned from a 10 year old…

What have children taught you?

Warmly,

Laurie

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Laurie’s work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Laurie provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no, setting limits and boundaries, as well as balancing work and life.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide.

Catch Your Star
Laurie's chapter in Catch Your Star will inspire you to see CHANGE as a tool to vastly improve your life. She and 19 other experts share definitive strategies for identifying personal values and belief patterns, changing a stuck mindset and tapping into dreams and intuition. Order your autographed copy today!
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